Navy blue sheets are the warning sign of a useless man, says Logan Mahan in InsideHook. Yes, it turns out the colour of someone’s bed sheets tells you all you need to know about the potential for romance. And if he has navy sheets, “run”.
“There is a common thread among men who have navy sheets,” comedian Mary Beth Barone tells Mahan. And it’s that they’re all immature and non-committal. Think about it. Navy sheets are dark, dark sheets equals less need for washing, less washing equals a general lack of caring, and a general lack of caring does not equal a good boyfriend. “This is purely qualitative,” adds Barone.
But there’s certainly something in it. The hashtag #navysheets has been viewed more than 700,000 times on TikTok. In several heartfelt videos, men finally lay their navy sheets to rest – “in the garbage”. Others are more direct. As one user, @tristina_, put it: “If he has navy blue sheets, he belongs to the streets.”
Third time lucky for Boris (and his bank balance)
My accountant once cautioned me strongly not to get married again, says Simon Kelner in the I newspaper. “Surely,” I replied, “you should be advising me not to get divorced again.” Heaven knows what Boris Johnson’s financial advisers are telling him about his proposed third marriage. Here is a man who tried to raid Tory funds to pay for wallpaper, and is so strapped for cash that he allegedly bunked off Covid meetings to finish his lucrative Shakespeare biography.
As the author Jean Kerr said: “Being divorced is like being hit by a truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.” I’m told that in the US, 73% of third marriages end in divorce – but at 56, Johnson should know what he’s doing. Cynics say the marriage will trigger a bounce in the polls, but does he need it? And if there’s one misjudged late-night text to Jennifer Arcuri, “Boris will be writing biographies and columns for the Telegraph for the rest of his life”.