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Love etc

Beware of husbands who buy fast cars

Bill Gates is rumoured to have driven a Porsche to an “undisclosed location”

Melinda Gates only needed to look at Bill’s cars to see the telltale signs of an affair, says Kayla Kibbe in InsideHook. Rumour has it the Microsoft supremo would drive to work in an unassuming Mercedes, then change cars at the office and whizz off to an undisclosed location in a golden-brown Porsche. “We all assumed that it was when he was with women,” an unnamed source told Vanity Fair.

Well, obviously, says Kibbe. “When a man purchases an expensive sports car, he is often one of two things: cheating on his wife or about to.” It’s a familiar tale. An older man picks up a younger woman in his swish car and ferries her off to “some fancy hotel for an illicit weekend getaway”.

Admittedly, affairs are not just the preserve of petrolheads – “a shitty car does not a faithful husband guarantee”. But a new sports car is certainly a red flag. After all, flashy motors serve the same purpose as affairs themselves. They’re nothing more than glamorous fantasy.

My sex lockdown has been a joy 

“I haven’t been to bed with anyone for the best part of a year,” says Katie Glass in The Sunday Telegraph. That’s the longest I’ve been sex-free in my adult life. It was unintentional – lockdown rules meant the “government banned one-night stands”. And any dates I did sneak in were virtual, and therefore entirely chaste.

But life as an accidental celibate has been surprisingly liberating. “I enjoyed slumming around in no make-up, not shaving my legs, wearing dungarees. I ate cakes and bread without worrying about boyfriends telling me I was too fat. I delighted in wearing wellies and anoraks that came down to my ankles.”

The thing is, I’ve been obsessed with being sexy since I turned 20. “As a woman with big boobs for whom being waif-like was impossible, sexy was the only option for me.” Giving that up has “freed me”. That said, “occasionally I miss the orgasms”.