
Hero
Cuttlefish, which never forget their lovers. A new study suggests they can remember every partner they’ve mated with, even in old age. This helps them spread their genes as widely as possible during an end-of-life sexual bonanza lasting several weeks.
Villain
Daniel Craig, at least one assumes in the eyes of his daughters, who he won’t leave a penny of his £135m fortune to. “Inheritance is quite distasteful”, he tells Candis magazine. Instead, he plans to give it away or spend it: “Isn’t there an old adage that if you die a rich person, you’ve failed?”

Villain
Lily Cole, who posted pictures of herself wearing a burqa on Instagram last Saturday, as Afghanistan fell to the Taliban. She told followers to “embrace diversity” before quickly apologising that she “hadn’t read the news at the time”. “Thankfully for the people of Afghanistan,” says Olivia Craighead in Gawker, “Cole has now read the news.”
Villain
The German military, which managed to repatriate 65,000 cans of beer and 340 bottles of wine and champagne, but only seven people, on its first evacuation flight from Kabul. It shows that Afghans who risked life and limb for Germany “are worth less to the government than beer cans”, says Bild.
Villains
Visitors to Sardinia, who have stolen six tonnes of sand from its beaches this year, despite risking fines of up to €3,000. Many want it as a souvenir of the holiday. The regional government has released a plea: “Sardinia: carry it in your heart, but only in your heart.”

Hero
Wally the Walrus, who was spotted relaxing on a motorboat in Cork after a 2,500-mile tour around Europe. He even visited Bilbao, on Spain’s north coast: the furthest south any walrus has been known to go.