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Love etc

Great sex doesn’t have to be noisy

Cara Delevingne. Getty Images

Deciding on the best sex I’ve ever had is “tricky”, says Cara Delevingne on Ellen DeGeneres’s Lady Parts web channel. “Especially when you have sex with men and women… and yourself. Group sex is also fun. It’s so hard to decide.”

Discovering tantric sex made everything “more deep and more beautiful”, because it’s about the whole body and not just the genitals. There was a one-night stand when “I was on the drums, he was on the guitar, playing music for three hours, then we stopped and had sex in the elevator”. That was fun.

But sex is best if you stop trying to sound like you’re in a porn film. You’re so conditioned to make noise. “I remember stopping making noise, and it’s so hot.” Bite the pillow. Bite the person. And if in doubt, always do it yourself. “If you feel like texting your ex, have an orgasm.”

I ghost all my female friends

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Most people ghost boyfriends, says Polly Vernon in The Sunday Times, but I ghost female friends. It always happens. I reach a point where I am compelled to cut them from my life: I mute their calls, delete their messages and unfollow them on Instagram. I “toss their sometimes long-standing, often intense friendship aside like a pair of laddered tights”. I call it “friend ick”, and it’s a close cousin of “sexual ick” – the sudden but non-negotiable realisation that this person is really not to your taste after all.