Villain
Harry Styles, for being a poor man’s Mick Jagger, according to Mick Jagger. “I used to wear a lot more eye make-up than him. Come on, I was much more androgynous. And he doesn’t have a voice like mine or move on stage like me.” There is, at least, one saving grace for Styles: he “has a superficial resemblance to my younger self, which is fine – he can’t help that”.
Hero
Gavin Williamson, at least in the eyes of Somaliland. The hapless former education secretary has won the breakaway state’s affection thanks to his support for its independence bid from Somalia. He was mobbed by fans when he visited, a cappuccino has been made with his likeness dusted on top, and babies have been named Gavin in his honour.
Villain
Kourtney Kardashian, for trying to starve her wedding guests. The bride’s half-sister and fellow influencer, Kylie Jenner, posted an Instagram video of the miserly pasta portions offered up at the bash in Portofino, Italy. “I’d be going back for ninths,” wrote one outraged Twitter user.
Heroes
Hangovers, which can be quite nice. There’s a dedicated page on the Reddit message board which discusses how hangovers can help relieve depression, anxiety and fatigue – in some cases more effectively than antidepressants. One member has an exact prescription: drinking 200ml of vodka just before bed creates the perfect hangover the day after.
Villain
Stuart Kirk, a (now-suspended) HSBC executive, who is perhaps a little too relaxed about climate change. “Who cares if Miami is six metres underwater in 100 years?” he quipped at a conference last week. “Amsterdam has been six metres underwater for ages, and that’s a really nice place.”