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Heroes and villains

“Throuples” | Australians | Three-word slogans


Boxer David Haye, singer Una Healy and model Sian Osborne, who are in a “throuple” – a three-person romantic relationship. Good on them, says Julie Burchill in The Spectator. People are blasé about sex these days: kinks are so normalised that “no one blinks at bondage gear in public”. A throuple, however, sounds saucy and fun – something that “friends” tell gossip mags they’re “concerned” about while secretly fantasising about it “from the confines of their loving and monogamous relationships”.

Australians, who are coming over here and offering us jobs. Aussie recruiters have been trying to persuade British nurses, teachers, electricians and engineers to move Down Under with the promise of near-double wages and lower living costs. Pretty soon, says Michael Deacon in The Daily Telegraph, our politicians will be worrying about emigration, not immigration. “Nigel Farage will be photographed standing on the White Cliffs of Dover with a pair of binoculars, scanning the horizon for small boats full of people leaving the country.”

Three-word slogans, which people are fed up with, said Angela Rayner when introducing Keir Starmer at an event in Manchester. Starmer then began a half-hour oration, says Quentin Letts in The Times, “based on, oops, a three-word slogan: ‘mission-driven government’”. This, the Labour leader said, would displace “sticking-plaster politics”. “Down on the front row Rayner’s jaw swung open as she did some arithmetic on her fingertips and realised that that, too, was a three-word slogan.”