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Heroes and villains

Theatregoers | The Masters | American parents

Operagoers at La Fenice in Venice: they know how to behave. Giuseppe Cacace/Getty

Theatregoers, who have been getting drunk, brawling and singing along to musicals, according to recent reports. “Where do these spoilt blighters think they are, a cinema?” says Giles Coren in The Times. Have they forgotten that “the correct etiquette is to shell out 300 quid for two creaking, lumpy seats with a view of a pillar, then sit in churchy silence with no dinner while a load of barking tarts in fancy dress try to remember their memory homework”?

The Masters, which, unlike most sporting events, offers “ridiculously cheap” food and drink, says Insider. Punters at the American golf tournament in Georgia can buy a pimento cheese sandwich for just $1.50, coffee for $2 and a beer for $5. The most expensive item on the menu is a glass of white wine, at a princely $6.

Pushy American parents, who are paying “college consultants” as much as $750,000 to help their children get into top universities. With acceptance rates at several Ivy League schools below 5%, says Bloomberg, children are starting admissions prep as young as 12 – and their parents are paying handsomely for it.

An unnamed boss at Royal Mail’s Gloucester North branch, who has a rather bracing sense of humour. On 1 April, the mean-spirited manager put up a notice declaring that a deal with the postal workers’ union had been reached and that employees would be getting an 11% pay rise. Staff celebrated and shared the news on social media, before realising it was an April Fool’s prank.