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Heroes and villains

Life-saving Skims | Performance poetry | Richard Curtis

Kim modelling her life-saving shapewear. Skims

Kim Kardashian, whose line of body-hugging “shapewear” has saved a customer’s life. A 22-year-old TikToker recently attested that she was hit four times during a mass shooting in Missouri on New Year’s Day – but her Skims bodysuit was so tight “that it literally kept me from bleeding out”. “If this doesn’t land you a Skims sponsorship,” one user commented, “I don’t know what will.”

Performance poetry, which might just end the war in Ukraine. A recent letter to The Guardian criticising Joe Biden for sending cluster bombs to Kyiv concludes: “In these fractured times, the need for a resurgence of political performance poetry has never been greater.” I completely agree, says Michael Deacon in The Daily Telegraph – President Zelensky should be gracious enough to accept British aid in all forms. If we want to supply pink-haired pansexuals from Brighton “rapping about the evils of late-stage capitalism”, rather than cruise missiles, “he should jolly well be grateful”.

Not more of this, surely. Hugh Grant and Martine McCutcheon in Love Actually

Richard Curtis, at least according to Hannah Betts in The Times, because the veteran director is threatening to stage a Christmas variety show this December. The “Antichrist of cinema” describes the project as “a real chocolate box – or perhaps advent calendar – of delights”. But I surely cannot be the only one who awaits this festive assortment with a nausea of the “projectile, indeed, Exorcist variety”.

Robbert Dijkgraaf, the Dutch education minister, who has banned smartphones, smartwatches and tablets from classrooms starting next year. Teachers “deserve the undivided attention of their students”, he says in The Daily Telegraph, and pilot schemes show that mobile-free lessons boost attainment levels and reduce online bullying. What’s stopping Britain from following suit?