Heroes
Quick-thinking British Airways cabin crew, who responded to a catering emergency by providing hungry passengers with KFC. After a fridge malfunction meant binning all the in-flight meals, staff hopped off the plane during a scheduled stop in the Bahamas and bought a couple of Bargain Buckets. Travellers shared videos of air stewards handing out chicken tenders with a pair of tongs.
Villains
The Guardian’s sub-editors, who have had a tough week at the office. On Monday, the paper had to issue a correction after printing that the number of atoms in the sun was “around 1057”. It was supposed to say “1057” – or 10 followed by 56 zeroes. Two days later, the paper said that Irish poet Seamus Heaney had “tweeted” a tribute to the “beautiful” and “courageous” Sinéad O’Connor. Heaney died a decade ago.
Heroes
England’s cricketers, who triumphed in the Ashes – the “Grey Ashes”, at least. In this year’s over-60s series, England’s seniors have taken an insurmountable 3-1 lead, meaning they will retain the esteemed terracotta urn for the fifth consecutive time. The triumphant squad – which features retired teachers, a bus driver and a carpenter – are already anticipating their trip Down Under in 2025.
Villains
Neckties, according to the Taliban, which has denounced the garment as representative of the Christian cross. A senior representative of the murderous theocracy appeared on state TV on Wednesday declaring that the tie should be not just banned but destroyed. “It is ordered in Sharia,” he said, “that you should break it and eliminate it.”
Heroes
YouTube pranksters Josh Pieters and Archie Manners, who gave Just Stop Oil a “taste of their own medicine”, says The Daily Telegraph. The duo slipped into a vegan banquet hosted by the environmental insurgents in east London, and set off ear-piercingly loud panic alarms attached to bright-orange, helium-filled balloons.