Hero
Florida man Reza Baluchi, who constructed a giant floating hamster wheel and tried to “run” across the Atlantic to London. The 51-year-old was stopped by the US coast guard 70 miles into his 4,400-mile journey. It was his fourth excursion in the “hydro pod” – during the last one, a planned journey from Florida to New York in 2021, he managed 25 miles before being washed ashore.
Villains
Garden gnomes, which are the sinister accomplices of burglars. Welsh police have warned homeowners that thieves are placing the ornaments in front gardens and waiting to see if they’re moved – if they’re not, it’s a sign the owners might be away.
Hero
Genghis Khan, according to Pope Francis, who has hailed the marauding Mongol chieftain as a bringer of peace. On a recent visit to Mongolia, his Holiness beseeched God for “a renewal, respectful of international laws, of the condition of what was once the pax Mongolica” – achieved by brutal horsemen rampaging their way from the Asian steppe to central Europe.
Villains
Vegan steaks and other plant-based “meat” products, which the French government has decided are too misleading. A new decree will ban meaty terms like “steak”, “escalope” and “ham” being used to describe animal-free products – a boon for French farmers and butchers, who complain that it confuses their carnivorous customers.
Hero
Jordan Henderson, who has moved to Saudi Arabia but absolutely not for the money. The 33-year-old footballer, who wore rainbow laces in his boots in support of LGBT rights when captaining Liverpool, came under fire for accepting a rumoured £700,000-a-week salary at the Saudi club Al Ettifaq. But he defended the move in a recent interview, saying “money has never been a motivation” and that he wanted “something that would excite me”.
Villains
Eleven thousand runners, who were disqualified en masse for cheating in last month’s Mexico City marathon. The dishonest dashers – who accounted for a third of the total entrants – were found to have cut the course after they missed certain checkpoints; some allegedly even took cars and public transport.