Queues for petrol are “starting to calm down”, filling-station bosses told the BBC, after knife fights and punch-ups on forecourts shamed Britain. “The queues for petrol pumps are like those for sausage… in the Soviet Union,” said a gleeful presenter on the pro-Kremlin Russian television station NTV. Keir Starmer is setting out an “education revolution” at the Labour party conference today, says the Mirror’s Pippa Crerar, but everyone really wants to see if his personality cuts through. No one doubts the former lawyer’s “fierce intellect”, a Labour MP tells Crerar, but “he was always better at convincing the judge than the jury”. The traditional bonfire at Dulwich Sports Club’s fireworks display will be replaced by a video of an “eco-friendly virtual bonfire” on a big screen. “What the Fawkes going on?” asks The Sun.
To quell Donald Trump’s frequent fits of rage as president, aides in the White House came up with a novel approach: playing his favourite show tunes, including Memory from Cats. There was even an official called the “Music Man” assigned to do it, says former Trump press secretary Stephanie Grisham in her new book, I’ll Take Your Questions Now.
On the money
A Danish museum gave 538,000 kroner (£62,000) in banknotes to artist Jens Haaning, which were to be displayed in two glass frames at an exhibition that opened last week. Instead Haaning trousered the cash and submitted two empty frames, says The Art Newspaper. He changed the title to Take the Money and Run: “The work is that I took the money.” The museum was not impressed and has asked for the cash back.
After an 18-month delay, No Time to Die had its premiere last night in London. Finally, some proper glamour, says Christian Allaire in Vogue. “Kate Middleton has clearly missed dressing up” – her glittering dress looked like something out of Goldfinger. Some were less impressed. Daniel Craig’s pink suede jacket is foul, Piers Morgan raged on Twitter. James Bond is supposed to be a steely-eyed assassin, “not an Austin Powers tribute act”. Craig is unlikely to mind – the film got five stars from The Times, The Daily Telegraph and The Guardian.
Victoria Beckham has revealed her “boring” preferred snack: “I like wholegrain toast with salt on it,” she told the River Café Table 4 podcast. “It’s that carbohydrate that makes you feel comforted, and I love salt.”
It’s the high street of a “lost village” in the Lake District that has been revealed by falling water levels in the Haweswater Reservoir. Mardale Green was submerged when the valley was flooded in the 1930s, forcing hundreds of residents to leave. Water levels dropped to less than 40% at the end of summer, leaving the remains of a house, a humpback bridge and a church visible. The company that owns the reservoir said a higher-than-usual number of holidaymakers had increased demand for water.
“The opposite of poverty is not wealth; the opposite of poverty is justice.”