Global update

A protester at an anti-corruption rally in Kyiv last year. Roman Pilipey/AFP/Getty
Thereâs no denying Ukraineâs corruption problem
Throughout the war against Russia, Ukraine has been periodically accused, often by its own disgruntled citizens, of rampant corruption, say Alastair Campbell and Rory Stewart on The Rest Is Politics. And the accusations are absolutely true. Kyivâs struggle with corruption stems partly from the fact that there was so much of it in the past that âalmost everybody in the systemâ is tainted. But over the years, Ukrainians have had little choice but to break certain rules. Back in the 1990s, there was a three-year period when Ukrainian soldiers received no salaries at all, forcing brigade commanders to chop down whole forests and sell the wood to buy bullets or commandeer factories to get enough cash to carry on.
When Russia invaded in 2022, the country was plunged into full emergency mode. Almost immediately, the government and military âthrew all the procurement rules out of the windowâ. To protect their thousands of men, brigade commanders naturally set about doing deals with close contacts, writing their own cheques for drones, and sourcing uniforms from any old factory they could find, including in China. Most could defend this as being âfor the right reasonsâ, but some âchancers and criminalsâ in Kyivâs military built up questionable pots of cash and even moved funds to foreign bank accounts. Things are improving, and Russian propagandists who claim Ukraine is a âfailed stateâ should be ignored. But thereâs no denying Ukraineâs deep corruption problem. Still, theyâre a West-facing democracy under attack by an authoritarian dictator. They deserve all the help we can give them.
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Property
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Heroes and villains

Villain
A Hertfordshire fruit farm, which outraged visitors with a childrenâs slide modelled on the sinking Titanic. The boat-like ride at Graveley Farm, which tips up to simulate the historical tragedy, was attacked by online critics, who called it âdisrespectfulâ, âdistastefulâ and âstrangeâ. A spokesman said theyâd considered a name change, but decided ânot to give in to the woke brigadeâ. If any survivors lived to see it, added farm manager Will Campbell-Gray, he hoped theyâd look on it âwith a kindly smileâ.
Villains
American baby boomers, record numbers of whom are spending their retirement unrepentantly getting high and creating headaches for their neighbours. When 64-year-old astrophysicist Fiorelli Terenzi noticed wafts of marijuana smoke coming into her home, she realised the culprits were a married couple in their seventies in a nearby flat. Confronting them, she says, reminded her of high school. âIt was always that kind of smirk,â she says, âlike, âoh, come on. If youâre stoned itâs cool.ââ

Chelsea Gerber
Hero
Goosey (pictured), who helped save 60 chickens and turkeys from a fire. After dodgy electrics sparked a blaze at a barn in Texas, the pet goose waddled out and made such a racket he woke up owner Bert Gerber, who was able to put the fire out. Remarkably, it was the first time Gerber had ever heard so much as a honk from Goosey. âI donât think we give animals enough credit,â says his wife, Chelsea. âThey do communicate, just not with words.â
Hero
ClĂŠment Vandenkerckhove, a 26-year-old car salesman, who has become a Belgian prince after being formally recognised as the biological son of Prince Laurent. Vandenkerckhove, the result of a relationship between Laurent and the Belgian singer Wendy Van Wanten, will not join the line of succession or receive a royal allowance, though he is entitled to use his fatherâs surname Saxe-Coburg.
Hero
The Pope, according to Vanity Fair, which has placed the Vicar of Christ on its best dressed list due to his ability to pair a cassock with a pair of Nike trainers and a baseball cap. The magazine lauded Leo for propelling sartorial matters to âheavenly heightsâ, calling the saintly 70-year-old a true fashion âoriginalâ.
Comment

Migrants clambering aboard a UK Border Force vessel. Dan Kitwood/Getty
âYouâre on the wrong boat, mate!â
Earlier this summer, says Christian Drogan in The Telegraph, I found myself racing past sunbathers on a French beach with a single mission: to become the first known Brit to board a migrant dinghy across the Channel. The preparations for my undercover journey had been gruelling. After finding a people smuggler prepared to take a risk on a white Englishman (I claimed to be a criminal on the run) I paid my âŹ1,400 and the games began: âgo here, go there, wait a few days, go back to where you startedâ. I slogged across miles of sand dunes and kipped in filthy, sprawling migrant camps ruled by shadowy smugglers with semi-automatic weapons and terrifying dogs. âYou do not mess with these people.â
On one attempt, I ran through ranks of gendarmes âstanding around doing nothingâ and on to a tiny, crowded vessel, but the engined spluttered and died. Just 24 hours later, I was sprinting into the sea agin. There were just 36 of us in the dinghy, a fraction of the usual load. (One joked: âVIP Britain, Inshallah!â) The driver had fallen out with his boss and was refusing to take more. They shouted at each other over the phone in Kurdish Farsi, meaning they were likely from Iran. It was a chilling thought â gangsters from a hostile state ferrying undocumented males into Britain. Then I witnessed something extraordinary â once the smugglers had confirmed only paying customers were aboard, they radioed a nearby search-and-rescue vessel asking to get off. Minutes later, a French police boat duly drew up and ferried them back to dry land. As we approached the English coast, we were intercepted by bellowing British Border Force officers, who spotted me a mile off: âYouâre on the wrong boat, mate!â
The Knowledge Crossword
On the money

How the rich move house
When the very rich move house, it isnât just the pots and pans that need boxing up, says Katrina Burroughs in Times Luxury. If the elite removals firm Cadogan Tate get the call, they expect to shift a baroque fountain, say, a few Titians, or a fleet of Bentleys. The company was once asked to deliver a desk to a study in the tower of a French château; they first had to row it across a moat before passing it through a window. They also employed a crew of 20 Amish craftsmen to dismantle a cattle barn in Pennsylvania and reassemble it in Colorado. And youâd be surprised, says group CEO Ben Clark, how much some people care about their Lego models. âA Picasso is worth infinitely more,â he says, âyet the anxiety is almost the sameâ.
The business is so lucrative that art and antique specialists Gander & White now work with private clients as well as galleries and museums. They once shipped a wedding cake from Italy to New York, and transported a clientâs dog up the American east coast. âWe can do basically anything,â says top exec Alexander Bradford. âWe once had a client who sent over their ironing board from Canada.â It doesnât always go smoothly â a table worth âseveral hundreds of thousands of poundsâ once went missing while being shipped to the Caribbean. It turned out the captain had used the crate for emergency repairs and given the table to the crew, who had ended up depositing it on a âliteral desert islandâ. After spending several months tracking it down, the firmâs director had to travel to the island with the loss adjustors before they would authorise payment for a new table.
Weather

Quoted
âIf you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.â
Dolly Parton
Thatâs it. Youâre done.
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