Chinese president Xi Jinping unveiled laser weapons, robot wolves, nuclear ballistic missiles and giant underwater drones at a landmark military parade in Beijing this morning, in front of more than two dozen heads of state, including Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-un. The North Korean leader – joined by his young daughter and likely successor, Kim Ju-ae – told Putin it was his country’s “fraternal duty” to continue helping Russia’s war effort. Under-16s in England will be banned from buying energy drinks like Monster and Red Bull, the government has announced. Health experts, dentists and teaching unions have all welcomed the ban, says The Guardian, with schools complaining that the highly caffeinated drinks left children “bouncing off the walls”. One minute of vigorous activity a day could add years to your life. A new study tracking 3,300 older Americans who did no structured exercise found that those who managed 60 seconds of energetic “incidental activity”, such as lifting heavy shopping, had a 38% lower risk of dying over the following six years compared to those who did not.

It was somehow apt, says Marina Hyde in The Guardian, that Keir Starmer’s “No 10 hokey cokey” on Monday wasn’t quite the full-blooded reshuffle many were expecting. Less shuffling the deckchairs on the Titanic; more “restructuring the deck crew and announcing that some fresh faces will enable the team to work with new focus towards their ultimate goal of reshuffling”. Downing Street officials say the personnel changes demonstrate that the PM is focused on “relentless delivery”. Sorry, what? This government has delivered pretty much nothing, and all Starmer ever does is relent. “Doing a monthly U-turn is the only thing he hasn’t U-turned on.”

Underlying all this is the looming autumn budget. It was only nine months ago that Rachel Reeves insisted, “I’m really clear: I’m not coming back with more borrowing or more taxes”. Spoiler alert: that’s exactly what she’s going to do. In a development “both clearly predictable and clearly predicted”, Labour’s promise not to raise any of the three biggest taxes – while somehow still giving Britain a far better lifestyle than that to which it has become “angrily accustomed” – has not come off. So voters are angrier now, and will be a whole lot angrier still when Reeves goes back on her word. “It’s extremely difficult to see how she survives that.” She and the PM have only themselves to blame. They must have known their pre-election promises didn’t add up – a form of economic populism “almost as corrosive” as the right-wing populism they say they disdain. And if they didn’t know, they’re “even more incompetent” than they’ve so far appeared. A truly terrifying thought.